May denies trying eat Cameron daughter left behind at No. 10


The United Kingdom’s new Prime Minister Theresa May has denied that she was trying to eat David Cameron’s 12-year-old daughter, whom the former Prime Minister left behind at the PM’s official residence after a mix-up with his wife Samantha.

The Cameron’s, who rushed to 10 Downing Street hours after May officially moved in, said that he found Britain’s second female Prime Minister attempting to devour daughter Nancy.

May categorically denied the claim in a statement released by her office.

“I may have voted for repealing human rights, cutting welfare and for every war I could vote for,” May’s statement read. “But I have not, nor will I ever, eat a child.”

“That’s why I said that you have to be a mother to a good Prime Minister,” Andrea Leadsom, May’s former rival for Conservative leadership, said, before recanting her comment after she was offered a cabinet position.

May explained that while it may have looked to Cameron as if she were about to eat his daughter, she was, in fact, about kiss the child on the cheek.

“I love children, even the petulant ones,” May added. “In fact, I even appointed one as the Foreign Secretary.”

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