Stray cats bring dignity to G-20 Summit



World grateful for feline frankness in the midst of deceit

The world watched in relief as three stray cats, managing to elude security, crossed the stage of the G-20 summit. In the process the creatures’ sobriety and dignity took global attention away from the assembled dignitaries.

“At last, there’s something here that doesn’t offer unrealistic solutions to problems they don’t intend to solve,” said Yasmine Siegel, watching the video on her phone in Montreal, Qc. ‘I started to think that this G-20 conference would offer nothing of any interest or value. It’s a good thing those cats are there. You can almost see their little whiskers.’

“I have to admit, I thought Obama was wasting his time and tax dollars,” said Joseph Sikspek of Omaha, NE. “It’s not as if anyone really knows how to solve the Syrian situation, and the Iraqi government helped set up this chaos up by refusing to extend the troop presence we had. But now that cats have infiltrated the conference, I feel slightly better about the situation. Maybe there will be fewer rats leaving the conference than entering it.”

To the relief of many, the cats were a constant source of honesty at an event marked by nauseating dishonesty.

“I heard Putin promising that Russia too wanted a regime that represented the Syrian people,”, said a diplomat who refused to be named. “I had to nod pleasantly, and then I heard a hacking, scratchy sound. I looked right and saw one of the stray cats was coughing up a hairball. It was the most appropriate response to Putin’s baldfaced lying that I have ever seen.”


“Today, the cats were the big story,” said NBC anchor Brian Williams. “They are at the center of everything…And it isn’t the first time. The same cats were in my helicopter when it came under rocket-fire, and deflected the RPG with their whiskers. They are truly the stars of our show.”

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